Sunday, 23 December 2018

Peter's 2018 Anime Rundown

I thought I'd do another media review for fun. But just doing the Anime one took me far longer than I planned, so I don't actually know if I'll do the rest. But I may as well post this one. Enjoy the yearly weeaboo autism roundup from Peter to usher in the holidays. I guess Louis' choice would be the animated film "Your Name", I would put anime films in a films list rather than here, but I think it's the only anime like thing he's watched all year so I'll bend the rules this once.

This list goes in an approx order or how good I think they were, ending with my top pick for the year at the bottom. Like last year, this is just the anime I watched (and finished) this year, they mostly did not in fact air in 2018.

Gabriel Dropout – I enjoyed it quite a bit, but it was just so much fluff with Gabriel being a shit and doing cute things. It’s basically just a PG Panty & Stocking.


Shimoneta – Raunchy comedy about a world where the concept of naughty jokes and swearing has been banned, with the heroes being a group of sexy terrorists. Pretty entertaining, but nothing special outside of the unique concept.


Aggretsuko – Retsuko is a red panda who hates her office job and lots about her life in general, only singing death metal at Karaoke keeps her sane. This is a well-produced comedy following Retsuko trying to improve her shitty life and usually failing, but is also, ultimately just another piece of diverting fluff.


Devilman Crybaby – Ryo gets turned into a half demon by his best friend who is literally Lucifer and the apocalypse kinda begins to happen. It seems like a lot of people liked this more than I did. It had good moments, good music and tried to say things about humanity, but it just missed the mark a bit for me and didn't strike me as being actually as deep as it thought it was.


Ouran High School Host Club – After breaking a vase by accident, the poor Haruhi has to work as a host in a rich high school to pay off her debt, meaning she has to pretend to be a boy, and slowly the president of the club realises he’s in love with her. A pretty entertaining comedy, but I also seem to like this one less than many of its fans. Possibly my expectations for it were just too high as I’d heard so much about it previously.


Code Geass Series 2 – Lelouch is still trying to become king of the world to protect his sister, and kinda fucking up everything in the process. While enjoyable, I ultimately felt like this second season was pretty worthless, I feel like if they hadn’t been aiming to do a two season anime from the start, this would have better been written to wrap up in a single series. And now I hear they are making a third series. God dammit Japan.


Mob Psycho 100 – Mob is an autistic boy who also seem to be the most powerful psychic in existence, and manages to get into all kinds of hijinks with his master, who is supposed to be training him, despite being a con man with no psychic abilities whatsoever. Written by the same man as one punch man, this offers a fun look at another world endingly powerful individual, albeit in very different circumstances.


Megalo Box – Joe is a poor person living off the grid in future Tokyo, who wants to be the best Megalo Boxer in the world. Basically a boxing tournament with robo arms for added action. Before they realise the megalo boxing arms were inside you all along. Or something. Kind off a cop out that despite the set up the whole point seems to be NOT actually fighting with rigs. Entertaining and well made ‘sports’ anime, for want of a better word to describe people hitting each other with robot arms.


My Hero Academia – In a world where (nearly) everyone has superpowers, the originally unpowered Deku gets given the power of the Symbol of Peace (#1 Hero) All Might, who needs a successor, and saw potential in Deku, who then goes to superhero school. It’s no HxH and is normie as fuck, but this is a very entertaining piece of Shonen fun. The characters are (mostly) endearing and interesting, the power progression feels (mostly) well-paced and the fights are fun to watch, as they do have some fun with the abilities of some of the weirder quirked heroes. Deku and All Might are idiots about training Deku’s power for far too long though. And Bakugo is just an annoying piece of shit. I get what they are going for with his character, but they didn't have to take 4 fucking seasons before he starts having character development. Maybe. 



Dragonball – Goku and his friends go looking for the seven magical dragonball so they can make wishes. With lots of fighting in between. This has gotta be up there as one of the most important Anime ever, and as far as I’m concerned the original 150 episodes of Dragonball hold up way better than its sequel DBZ in almost every way. Unpopular opinion - despite the Piccolo (and Saiyan in DBZ) sagas still being pretty great, the series peaked during the world tournament in the Tienshinhan Saga.



Nichijou – High school girls doing cute or, more usually, bizarre things for comedy. Featuring a robot, a talking cat, an 8 year old girl who is also a professor, an aspiring manga artist, a troll made incarnate and someone pretty much normal other than being a bit thick. And that's to say nothing of the side characters. Really funny and very endearing. And there are some scenes where they have clearly spent an insane amount of money on the animation for a gag anime. I do recommend.


Made in Abyss – In a village on the edge of something called the Abyss (a, well, Abyss that stretches on forever into the earth, with all manner of monsters and riches residing within) Riko finds a robot she calls Reg, and they leave their orphanage to attempt to find Riko’s Mother at the bottom of the Abyss, finding all manner of people and monsters on the way. Lots of quite horrific death and mutilation happens to the cute characters, but the story is engrossing and the world enthralling. Highly recommended.


Houseki No Kuni – Androgynous sentient crystals wander a weird and desolate world, defending it from the Lumerians who want to kill them and collect their shards for reasons as yet not understood (we do know now in the manga, where things have gotten, eh, interesting... But that's another story). Amid this backdrop, Phosphophyllite, a seemingly useless gem, tries to find her purpose in life without losing herself on the way. It was hard not making this my top pick. I enjoyed HNK while watching it a whole lot, but I don’t think it hit me how much I enjoyed it until I was thinking about it months later and wanted to watch it again, which barely ever happens with an Anime unless many years have passed. The characters are great, the mysteries engrossing, the music fantastic and the 3D art beautiful (at least to me). I can hardly even think of any times I was aware of it after the first episode, so if the 3D art style puts you off, I’d recommend giving it a go anyway.


Monogatari – After being made a half vampire, Araragi and his harem of cute girls combat the supernatural forces that assail their town. Often told in an idiosyncratic order that leaves earlier events a mystery until its reveal has the biggest emotional payoff. I could rank all of the different seasons from this show differently, but they come together into an almighty and unassailable edifice that took up a massive chunk of my summer. I planned to leave spaces between watching the seasons, but by the time I was halfway through Nisemonogatari (‘Fake Story’) I was hooked and for weeks didn’t watch anything but the ~80 episodes and 3 films that make up the series after Bakemonogatari (The first series and on last years list). Always looks striking, with a great art direction, the music for the Ops, EDs and within the episodes is always exemplary and most importantly the storytelling at the macro level keeps you hooked and always on board for the big mysteries, while at the micro level manages to make everyone best girl when they need to be to keep you interested in an arc.
Unfortunately, thanks to the toothbrush scene (among other… bizarre… fan service. Usually played for laughs, I must note. Usually...) I can now never actually recommend this series to anyone without risking them thinking I'm an even bigger freak than they already think I am. Great job guys.




Saturday, 22 December 2018

Episode 42 – Fastening a Noose Now the Chuckles Are Tallied



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The Season Finale of Two Absolute Bookends – Chapter 30 of the way the Stars Fall: Rebirth.

Back on the tranquillity, Sans Hollister and with a Popsicle alien Tona, Jack has a mental breakdown, fails to go through a wormhole, cries, destroys the Rokarii Fleet then passes out. Waking up in the infirmary, he spends the rest of the chapter musing on his situation, getting ammo from Tiberius who for some reason lets the tranquillity go, then leads his ship off into the emptiness of space following a very uninspiring speech. And that is how part one of the trilogy ends ladies and gentlemen.

This is a marathon episode of the kind not seen since the Sonic High School Saga. Not only do we go through this chapter, we go through the book as a whole, the characters, plot points we had trouble with and of course, tallied up the chuckles once and for all. If you wanted a comprehensive review of the book as a whole, as comprised by autists who have spent the last year reading through and talking about it, this week we’ve got you sorted. While we still have our moments, this is probably the longest we’ve stayed mostly on topic in the history of the podcast.

This fucking stupid idea was born in late summer 2016, it is now nearing the end of 2018 as I upload this episode. As you can probably tell from the fact I only managed to upload 9 of the 42 episode in 2018, life and somewhat dwindling passion was beginning to get in the way of this project, but frankly I’m still impressed we didn’t get bored after the first 3. My thanks to Louis for joining me on this quixotic journey, I hope he enjoyed himself as much as I did recording them, and wasn’t just doing it out of a fear I’d hang myself if the project was left unfinished. Hopefully one day when we’ve recharged our batteries he’ll get back upon Rocinante with me and we’ll find another abortion of literature to laugh at.

Finally I’d like to thank Lewis Stockton, Jim Theas and whoever the crazy diamond that wrote Sonic High School was. We may not have enjoyed your writings in the way you intended, but enjoy them we did, I hope that can make you happy in some small way and that you learnt from the process of writing these books to write something better in the future.

Support the author and buy the book we're reading at the link below:
http://lewisstockton.com/publishing/

Episode 41 - The Dab Heard Across The Universe



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In the penultimate chapter 29 we have a fiery conclusion to the action we’ve been building to for chapters.

Tiberius busts into the room where Jack is getting his insides made outsides by Tona, a three way fight ensues, and after Tona suddenly remember who she is, she gets knocked unconscious. Jack and Tiberius continue to fight for a while until they realise they are literally surrounded by Rokarii trying to kill them both. A Truce decided on, they try and hold them off until out of nowhere Hollister does a big damn heroes yet again. After fighting their way halfway back Jack, I shit you not, remembers that he left unconscious Alien Tona behind and makes everyone go back for her. Everyone dies, and Hollister has to sacrifice himself so Jack, Tiberius and Tona can escape in a shuttle. Then Tiberius decides to let Jack go and flies off back to the turmoil.

I’ll be straight with you, we don’t have any idea what is going on or why, nor do we particularly care at this point. But what you will get is us talking about using our podcast to learn English, wanking over a memorial video for the late Barry Chuckle, the art of the apocalyptic Dab, Chuckle Vision based excel formula and having your own eulogies set up on a sort of online dead man’s handle system.

Support the author and buy the book we're reading at the link below:
http://lewisstockton.com/publishing/

Sunday, 21 October 2018

Episode 40 - Sad One Tonight Boys



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As the book nears its end, we find ourselves back aboard the Turmoil to find out what our old buddy Tiberius has been up to.

It can actually be summarised very quickly. He takes the Ilmarian fleets, which now all have warp drives somehow, and jumps right into the middle of the fight we left the Tranquility in last week, where he then boards the flagship just in time to be the ambiguous figure in the last chapter.

We go, as is often the case with short chapters like this, way off the reservation with regards to staying on topic. We talk about Alan Partridge, high tech modesty curtains, if DFS still will exist In the far future (and if they will still always be on sale), Mark Hamill’s car crash and our need for a TWTSF visual Novel and/or pop-up book.

And, of course, we cannot ignore the elephant in the room that is the sad passing of Barry Chuckle. RIP you crazy diamond.

Support the author and buy the book we're reading at the link below:
http://lewisstockton.com/publishing/

Saturday, 4 August 2018

Episode 39 - All Roads Lead to Qualm Pie



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It’s all action aboard the tranquillity for Chapter 27 of The Way The Stars Fall: Rebirth.

As they approach the wormhole, the Rokarii fleet from a few chapters ago flies out to meet them. Don’t think about the logistics of that, because they make no sense. We then have a big old spaceship fight with broadsides, ruse cruises and yet another commando raid to rescue Tona. Spoiler, Jack gets impaled on her claws. But ooh, who is this mysterious figure with a bomb who turns up for the cliff-hanger?

Still you can just feel the author trying to pull the string together in an action climax that doesn’t really pay off. As ever, we attempt to improve upon our poor source material by talking about why Nerds say ‘Gods’ rather than ‘God’, why 19th century ships had guns on their broadsides (And why this is kinda retarded for space ships), cuckoo clocks on the bridge of the Tranquillity, the pitfalls of having a wood burning stove in space and the logistics of adding a porch to your spaceship.

Support the author and buy the book we're reading at the link below:
http://lewisstockton.com/publishing/

Tuesday, 10 July 2018

Episode 38 – Unnecessary Maths



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The last chapter blew chunks, and chapter 26 isn’t any better. A short chapter that is still far too long considering literally nothing of interest happens.

We’re back on the tranquillity with jack and Hollister, and we get to enjoy Logistics the Musical as they talk about repairs, food and ammunition while slowly flying towards a wormhole. Oh joy.

You can practically see the author just wrapping things up as quickly as possible and get to the final action scene, to the degree I wonder why he even bothered writing this chapter at all. I guess he liked the sound of having 30 chapters. So, in want of actual content to discuss, enjoy your two bookends developing a leather chair based system of ageing spaceships, a discussion of deepest Chucklevision lore and briefly get dangerously close to politics when we discuss Mark Zuckerberg’s day out to the Supreme Court.

Support the author and buy the book we're reading at the link below:
http://lewisstockton.com/publishing/

Sunday, 17 June 2018

Episode 37 – Farmer Tona and the Jack Hunter Harvest



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Welp, that didn’t last long. After being comparatively positive about chapter 24, chapter 25 turned out to be an abortion even by the usual standards of this book.

We spend the whole chapter with the Rokarii, where Tona and Queen Vilxena discuss their retarded plans to conquer the universe and milk jack for DNA, then Tona leads the fleet through the wormhole and that’s… it?

Seriously, this chapter is really short, it feels like the author is getting as bored as we are and trying to wrap this shitshow up as quickly as possible. Even with our digressions about alien fleshlights, more Romans, five minutes of us laughing at the concept of Tona yelling at a rotating hologram of Jack and the mechanics of downloading things directly to and from your brain, this episode still only just breaks 45 minutes. A fact I’m sure you are all very glad of.

Support the author and buy the book we're reading at the link below:
http://lewisstockton.com/publishing/

Wednesday, 25 April 2018

Episode 36 - Uncharacteristic Competence



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This time on Two Absolute Bookends we get a chapter of literally nothing, albeit nothing written better that any of the action we’ve had recently.

Tiberius returns back to the Imperator for a chat after everything went wrong in his attempt to capture the Tranquillity and fight the Rokarii at the same time. However, being a bro, the Imperator decides to give him another shot, and sends him back out to track down and capture the Tranquillity once and for all. That’s it. Though, we both agree, despite literally nothing happening, this chapter was actually almost written well in parts, so don’t say we can't praise the book when promise is shown.

Of course, in such a short chapter, we manage to get distracted as per usual and discuss the history of Manservants and thereby Peter’s infatuation with PG Wodehouse and the idealised version of the early 20th century he set his books in, the noble ancient Roman tradition of the haruspex and the relative merits of Scrappy Doo as a cartoon character. And who could forget the Globgogabgalab...

Support the author and buy the book we're reading at the link below:
http://lewisstockton.com/publishing/

Tuesday, 20 February 2018

Episode 35 - Remembering Talia



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This time on Two Absolute Bookends we get some action as Tiberius and his fleet finally interact with jack and the Rokarii in the past... Just roll with it. Needless to say, as this is TWTSF, everyone is retarded.

The tranquillity is in a bad way from the pursuing Rokarii (though there wasn’t even mention of an active pursuit when we were last with them), about to be intercepted by a second fleet, when Tiberius jumps through the hole and really fucks his day up. They are both shocked to find out that somehow they are both the evil twin, upon which Tiberius resolves to blast them apart. Quite how he intends to capture them is the ship is destroyed is anyone’s guess. Long story short, jack escapes by making a sun, then goes back to save Tiberius’s fleet for stupid reasons, then they both escape back to the present and go their separate ways.

Even in this action packed chapter, your Bookend buddies still manage to talk about the (cultural) death of Mike Myers, Hitler’s paining career and the potential epilepsy of Julius Caesar. So join us, as we muse on if a Rokarii Hollister can chuckle, Louis get’s triggered by the concept of the author referring to anything in the pre-book past of the characters, the potential Homosexual experimentation in the sex dungeons of Talia and the mind splitting retardation of the time travel rules the book uses.

Support the author and buy the book we're reading at the link below:
http://lewisstockton.com/publishing/

Tuesday, 2 January 2018

Episode 34 - Beetle Craft, Beetle Craft, Beetle Craft



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Back again with a little less down time to welcome in the New Year, your bookends this week join Captain Tiberius of the turmoil, where after like 10 chapters we finally have Tiberius’s story intersect with Jack and the Tranquillity again.

The chapter is bloody boring, Tiberius arrives in the system with the wormhole, blows up a Rokarii vessel and then goes through the wormhole. And if that sounds in any way exciting, then I’ve raised your expectations far too high. Also, in my humble opinion the author lays on the despicableness of Tiberius on far too heavy to take seriously – there’s being evil, then there’s being stupid.

Don’t you worry though, while the subject matter may be boring, your Bookends still find plenty of fun stuff to talk about in the various problems of motivation, science, sense and chronology as they try and work out how anything Tiberius does this chapter makes sense. And when that fails Peter spends ten minutes giving a lecture on naval warfare for dummies, offers a chimney based method for saving the planet and, for some reason, Nazi’s get brought up again. I wish I knew why this keeps happening. We’re just bad people I guess.

Support the author and buy the book we're reading at the link below:
http://lewisstockton.com/publishing/

Sunday, 31 December 2017

Episode 33 – G.I. Jake



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It’s been a long long time Bookend Friends. Not only did we have eight episodes of sonic high school madness, but we had Peter being an absolute useless piece of shit when it came to editing for most of November and December, but here we are, just in time for new years, back in the ITF Tranquillity where we belong with Jack Hunter, Tona, Hollister and all the rest of the gang.

After a critical look, we’ve come to realise that nothing important happens this chapter at all, it’s all a big shaggy dog story where Jack tries to save the Alien version of Tona, and fails, then they decide they need to escape back into the present. There are insane military manoeuvres, sexual violence and more, but the only thing that actually matters is when we find out the Rokarii think Jack is the perfect human specimen and wants to harvest his DNA. I shit you not. This is where the plot is now.

Your Bookends have a mixture of relief to be back in the familiar after months of sonic high school, and abject bafflement at how the plot is developing. It’s not every story where you can discuss Alien Cuckoldry, Arrested Development and 60’s Batman and Robin without going off topic, but god bless The Way the Stars Fall for existing. The marines being unwilling to retreat from certain death does almost give Peter an aneurysm though, so swings and roundabouts.

Support the author and buy the book we're reading at the link below:
http://lewisstockton.com/publishing/

Monday, 11 December 2017

Bookend Game Awards: Game of the Year

You made it this far, you mad bastards. I’ve ordered every game I played this year like some kind of absolute psychopath. Feel free to join me as we count down to my game of the year.

But first, let me award the GAME OF THE YEAR, EVERY YEAR award to the following games, which I play all the time, and it would be unfair to rank with the rest. Nobody wants to see me give Dark Souls game of the year for an entire decade after all.

Dark Souls – The Legend never dies! My favourite soulsbourne game changes all the time, but it’s always between Demon’s Souls, Dark Souls and Bloodborne, sequels need not apply. And I have spent far too much time running around Lordran the last few years.

Medieval Total War 2 – Again, a vote for the mods more than the game, though the base game is pretty damn fun. Europa Barborum my friends, it is my fetish.

Naploeon Total war – It’s in warsape engine, the scope is much limited after empire, and the AI is as retarded as ever, but dammit do I love kicking the tail of that uppity Corsican. Much mechanically improved from Empire, and actually optimised to run on computers that humans can actually own.

Rome Total War – It’s super old, and there are historical inaccuracies that give me kittens. But it’s some good arcade fun painting the map your colour and tearing armies apart with your legions.

Spyro the dragon – I maintain the best made in the series, though not my favourite. If you like 3D platformers but haven’t played this game I have to question what is wrong with you.

Total War: Shogun 2 –The best total war game in vanilla (without Mods) that Creative Assembly has ever made. I have lots and lots of complaints, like with all total war games, but it’s a bloody good time, and I’ve lost hundreds of hours into it both solo and online.

And now for the list proper!
  1. Windward – A cheap indie game I’m pretty sure I got as part of a humble bundle. I played it for an evening, had fun, but never plan to touch it again. Might be worth a look if you like the idea of an abstracted version of empire era naval combat, but don’t expect it to be deep or anything.
  2. ICEY – A take on the Stanley Parable and the Beginner’s Guide meets an okay action game by a Chinese studio. It plays with the 4th wall stuff pretty well, but I never really clicked with the combat system, the narrator is annoying (I mean, he’s supposed to be, but I was getting sick of him) and it makes the cardinal sin of making me sit through an unskippable scene before retrying a boss. I mean, it was fun, but I found it a bit of a trial to finish in the end.
  3. Dust: An Elysium Tale – A side scrolling indie action game with lots of furries. Looks nice, and was a fun time, but there’s no part of it I would score much higher than ‘Competent’ really, which makes it hard to put too high up the list.
  4. Transformers: Devastation – A below average game from Platinum is still usually a pretty good game. Unless it’s Ninja turtles. Fun platinum action, but you can tell this was one just made to pay the bills.
  5. Endless Space – A fun 4X strategy, but not too deep in what you can do once you scratch the surface. I blasted through like two solid days of playing this, and conquering the galaxy back to front, but as soon as I finished my last campaign I never wanted to play it again. Hopefully the impending sequel will be better, but this one is good for a fun few evenings if you can pick it up cheap.
  6. Puppeteer – An incredibly creative game let down with pretty basic gameplay, more impressive to watch than actually play, which is never a good thing, but a fun family platformer nonetheless.
  7. Dragon Ball Xenoverse – Make hot Saiyan girl. Punch aliens. Profit. Oh Saiyan girls, why are you so kakar-HOT? 
  8. Warhammer: Total War – It’s fun, and better than Rome 2, but they are stripping out so much of the tactical depth while focusing on flashy visuals. While I enjoyed playing it for like 2 days, I’m glad I never bought it, because fuck supporting Creative Assembly after what they’ve done to Total War.
  9. Steamworld Heist – Fun little turn based strategy game with manual shooting. Glad to see the Steamworld guys wanted to try something different after Dig. Though as they’ve just released Dig 2, I’m not sure if this game actually did well... which is a shame.
  10. Patrician 3 – I don’t know why I love carting goods around the Baltic in this Hanseatic league simulator so much, but I really do. I feel like this game is only going to entertain like 0.00001% of people though.
  11. Mordheim: City of the Damned – Welcome to RNG hell. This recreation of games workshop’s skirmish game is lots of fun, but has lots of problems. The whole warpstone gathering things can just make it anti fun, and you’ll be forced to give up good tactical positions to make a beeline for the best warpstone deposits in a truly stupid gamey turn, especially when you rout the army from the battlefield but leave behind the warpstone THAT IS LYING RIGHT THERE! AAARGH. I actually love this game. I just really wish it was better. Also, Necromunda video game when?
  12. Lone Survivor – Jasper Byrne’s 2D silent hill. But really I’m doing it a disservice by giving it such title, because it’s very much its own thing, and quite a trip. Keep your mind and body healthy in this twisted world.
  13. Metal Gear Rising: Revengence – Platinum were on good form in this crazy action romp as Metal Gear’s own Cyborg Ninja Raiden. I’m kind of sad we never got the stealth game initially promised. But if the fail state is a Platinum action game, we’re in a pretty good place.
  14. Killing Floor 2 – It’s a whole lot of fun shooting up Z’s with friends or randommers. Strap yourself into killing floor two for an evening and have yourself a blast.
  15. Inside – Takes the work they did on Limbo and improved on it in nearly every way. But for some reason they still never quite managed to top that spider chase from Limbo... Regardless, great puzzle platformer, and far more consistent than Limbo as a package.
  16. N++ - Minimalist beauty and no mistake. Take your ninja, dodge traps and get gold. It’s perfect in a way only a game this simple can ever hope to be.
  17. Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker – It was clearly meant to be played on a handheld console, but even hooked up to a TV this shines through as fantastic metal gear action. The story would be totally incomprehensible to anyone who hadn't played MGS3 though. 
  18. Slime Rancher – That’s right, pen up those poor slime, you monster. Wholesome, nature exploiting fun. Don’t tread in the Tar.
  19. Hyper Light Drifter – Cut your way through this Pixel masterpiece and vomit neon blood. Very tight combat and fun exploration in this beautiful game.
  20. Superhot – T H E M O S T I N N O V A T I V E S H O O T E R O F 2 0 1 6.
  21. Overwatch – There’s a character for everyone in this skill shooter, and it’s no surprise it’s still this big so long after release given the support it gets from the Blizzard.
  22. Hegemony: Gold – Pick the city state of your choice and war over ancient Greece. Logistics has never been so much fun. Prepare to spend weeks just staring at the Peloponnese planning your next move, before immediately getting fucked by an Athenian naval invasion.
  23. Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past –The final Legend of Zelda game (outside of handhelds) made in 2D is still held up as a classic for a good reason, take Link across Hyrule, and time itself to rescue the Princess Zelda and save the world.

    And now for my top 10:
  24. OneShot – Great adventure game that breaks the forth wall and really makes you care about the little blighters in the game. Get Niko home for pancakes you monster. Anything else would be a spoiler, but I stand by my story of the year award. However, 4th wall breaking aside, the rest of the game is fairly standard, albeit good, adventure game fare.
  25. Rocket League – Despite my complete lack of ability, this is a damn fun game to play with friends or randommers.
  26. Cuphead – The gameplay is strong, but not especially remarkable, but the art style is unique and sublimely executed. Have fun playing this cartoon that feels like a timewarp to the 50s.
  27. Killer7- Absolute madness that from anyone other than SUDA51 would be considered the worst game ever made, but somehow, despite all the ingredients being wrong, it just works. A cult classic, for sure, but a classic nevertheless. I didn't plan for this to end up as number 7, but goddam if that isn't serendipity?
  28. Red Dead Redemption – It’s just a shame I waited so long to play this, because it is visibly old and creaking now, but it’s still a damn fine game, and I can see why it took the world by storm when it was new. The best Cowboy game in town, and don't let the fact that it's the ONLY cowboy game in town make that seem like damning it with faint praise (unless you want to dust off your PS2 and find a copy of GUN, but aside from nostalgia this is clearly still better).
  29. Uncharted: A Thief's End – Hopefully Nathan Drakes swansong (I hate sequels that overstay their welcome, and I’m thought they were pushing it a little with this one), very well made all round. Naughty Dog knows what they’re doing by now, and if you like Uncharted, I doubt this will disappoint. Has aspects of an idiot plot, and thinks it's far more emotional than it is, but overall the story is a lark and the gameplay tight. It has a lot of money behind it, and it shows.
  30. Banjo-Kazooie – Absolute classic from Rare, one of the foundational entries into the 3D platformer genre, and despite its venerable age, still one of the greats.
  31. Sunless Sea – Going mad at sea has never been more fun than in this mix of RPG, naval combat, trading sim, resource management game and choose your own adventure. May not be to everyone’s tastes, but I was sucked into the world of the Unterzee for weeks trying to make my name as a Zee Captain.
  32. DOOM – I don’t know what to say, I have had more fun with DOOM than I have had with an FPS game in years, and it’s frenetic, bloody, over the top fun. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I can appreciate a cover based shooter, but I'd gotten pretty sick of having ONLY cover based shooters for most of the 2010’s
  33. Hollow Knight – You know, I made this list in an attempt to try and find a game OTHER than Hollow Knight that I played this year that I would put at the top of the list, because, you know, it ain’t perfect, I could nitpick and complain about hollow Knight plenty. But as I went down the list I just realised that, for me at least, it was the full package. Cuphead may have better art, but Hollow Knight is still beautiful. OneShot may have had the most affecting story, but I was still drawn in to Hollow Knight’s lore. Something like N++ may have tighter mechanics, but hollow Knight still felt like a joy to control (at least after I got the first few movement upgrades, dang metroidvanias). Maybe there’s a little too much back tracking, and there are some bosses I take umbrage with, but any niggles are far outweighed by the classy package that is Hollow Knight. Do yourself a favour and join the insect inhabitants of Hollownest as you try to piece together what left the world in such a sorry state.


So there you have it, my games of 2017, ordered like some kind of serial killer. I feel like the list looks bad on some games, but I try to make an effort to only play good things, so don't think that just because it's low down on the list it isn't worth playing, I just played some pretty good shit this year.

And with that, I'll get back to editing the podcast, sorry I'm so slow. Please don't yell at me.

Bookend Awards Interlude: Best Songs

Yea, I listen to weird music. I haven't asked him, but you can take it as a given that this list is 100% NOT approved of by Louis.

Aozora no Rhapsody by fhána – Fuck off. This song makes me happy. Leave me alone.

Bow Down by CHVRCHES – I like CVURCHES album ‘Every Open Eye’, and this is my favourite song from the album. Not really much more to it than that.


Circles by Machineheart – Listening back, I don’t know why, the weird breakdown is weird, and the other half feels like pop bs voice, but it works for me.


Komm Süsser Todd (Come Sweet Death) – Heard it in the End of Evangelion, and damn, it’s such a glorious celebration of your impending death. I recommend as a song to commit suicide to. Not from personal experience though, obviously.



Ghost by Mystery Skulls – i quite like this whole album by mystery skull, and I don’t know if this is just because it’s the first song by them that I heard, but Ghost is the one that’s stuck with me.


Greuxx by ロードス(Rhodes) – Mmm, I just love the sick vibrations as Greuxx progresses. Those dirty dirty techno riffs take me to my happy place.

Lay Down by Caravan Palace – It’s pretty weird, with an insistent beat. I like it.

Motteke! Sailor Fuku! by Aya Hirano, Emiri Katō, Kaori Fukuhara, and Aya Endō – It’s some anime bullshit, and the lyrics are hilariously raunchy for such a vanilla slice of life if you translate them. But man, this makes me want to order a second bowl of tonkatsu and bemoan my dull winter school uniform. Then become a cheer leader.

Point Of View by DB Boulevard –The nineties are calling and they want this song back. But it’s good shit that I somehow haven’t heard before. I mean, I’m sure I have, but I never knew the song’s name before, so I’m keeping it.

Lift Off by Suken – Sick beats my friends. Dare I say, the sickest? Suken know what the fuck they’re doing, and no mistake.

Sweet Blue Flag from the Killer7 OST – I Couldn’t give them the best gaming score and not have a track from them here. It’s a toss up between this and Rave On that I linked in that award, but I think Sweet Blue Flag just has that insistent pulse that get’s you super pumped. But, let’s be honest, the entire OST is gold.

Underground Gem by Windmills – I still need to catch up with their newest album, but Windmills are a class act and some good rappers. It was either this, or Bring Out The Sun, but I thought it was just too easy to pick the song that sampled music from Demon’s Souls.


Vintage by Allie X – What can I say, loving that vintage chintz.

Youkoso! Hitori Bocchi – This song is depression incarnate that plays at various points in Welcome to the N.H.K.  and a strong contender with Komm Süsser Todd for best song to commit suicide to.


And the winner is...

                Komm Süsser Todd

Yea, I feel dirty for picking a song I heard in an anime, even if it was a feature film one, but what can I say, I think it’s the song I’ve listened to the most this year since I heard it. And, god damn, it’s just so glorious and sad. If anyone heard me play it I’d half expect them to think I was depressed or suicidal, but that’s just missing the point. This isn’t a song about ending it all, it’s a song for when things are already ending, and while mistakes have been made and it may be sad, you may have regrets, you may want a do over, but it doesn’t matter – it all returns to nothing. Then you turn into Tang.

Sunday, 10 December 2017

Bookend Awards Interlude: Best Other TV

Now, I haven’t been watching too much this year, mostly because I’m slowly working my way through old Doctor Who and Star Trek, which is an insanely long proposition. But there you go, this is what I scraped together. Making this list made me realise I watch FAR too many cartoons for someone my age.

60s Star Trek – Gene Roddenbury’s classic. You have to have your camp meter set to maximum to enjoy this. I love watching old shows like this and I was amazed at how many references to this show I’d seen and not even realised were references. But yea, prepare yourself for some hilarious sets, effects, fights and acting.


Aeon Flux – Peter Chung’s avant-garde science fiction series. It’s bloody weird, and I’m still not sure if I preferred it before or after they stopped having no dialogue, but it’s like nothing else.


Big Mouth – Gross out heart-warming cartoon about kids going through puberty. It has a pretty, uh, divisive art style, but I enjoyed it.


Bojack Horseman Series 4 – Yep, Bojack is still a piece of shit, and yes, you still feel sorry for him. If you liked the older series, you should like this one.


Inside Number 9 – Comedy from the people who brought you the league of gentlemen and Psychoville. If you liked either of those series I think you’ll like this, and they really do use the framing device of each plot just taking place in a different house that is a number 9 to full effect, giving all sorts of different genres and characters. I do however think that sometimes they tried too hard to fit a big twist into the episodes, and because they are so varied some may just be misses to you based on your preferences.


John Pertwee Era Doctor Who – If you can’t hack the black and white, then Pertwee is the best place to start classic Who, and he’s one of the best Doctors in my opinion. The Unit family and earthbound nature of the first few seasons gives this a very different feel, especially with the introduction of the Master, but the vast majority of Pertwee’s run is very strong. Of course, as is par for the course with classic who, you have to be able to accept some hilariously bad special effects as part of the package.


OK K.O. – After years of Pushing, Ian Jones Quarterly finally got Cartoon Network to back his cartoon, and you know, it’s pretty good. In some recent episodes we have had some whisperings of plot, but for the most part it’s been happy just being a slice of life with K.O., Enid and Rad at Mr Gar’s Bodega at Lakewood Plaza Turbo. Can be patchy, and there’s no tricking yourself that you’re not watching a children’s cartoon, but I had a fun time! Also, they manage to get some really unexpected people turning up as voice actors!



Rick and Morty Series 3 – Like a lot of people I thought this was the weakest season yet, but I still found it pretty funny overall. It seems like Dan harmon is having a mental breakdown and is getting super bitter over his divorce, and it might be affecting the show, but let’s see what next series holds before I write the show off. It might just be because it’s broken through to the normies and I hate to share.


South Park – After the complete abortion that was the last series, Matt and Trey have pulled back on the season long arcs and betting on far from guaranteed political results to make their episodes work. I still need to finish it but this season was a definite step in the right direction.


Steven Universe – Yea yea, I know this is a show for cucks and autists historically (so I'll fit right in), but what can I say, it has its claws into me now. The bomb format was a very bad idea, and it feels like very few episodes aired this year, which has lead to the towny episodes, that I’m usually fine with, really start to feel more like padding when the actual plot should be getting resolved. I could make a lot of complaints about how various plots and characters have been handled the last season or so, but I just have to remind myself it’s a cartoon for little kids, and stop being so autistic. I still think it’s a fun series overall.

Xavier Renegade Angel  - Frutata! I watched this as people were for some reason bringing it up as the anti-Rick and Morty. I’m not sure if I’d say that, but it was bloody entertaining insanity, and I’m glad it’s getting seen more, even if it’s about a decade after it first aired.


Yes, Minister – I’m slowly working my way through this old political comedy, and it’s both still surprisingly funny and horrifically relevant to today’s politics. Why does nothing ever change? If you enjoyed The Thick of It you should do yourself a favour and check this one out.


And the winner is...

                Inside Number 9



Now, Louis will be mad at me, because I’m a useless sack of shit and haven’t even started season 3 yet, and as comedy is so subjective you may just hate this, but picking this up reminded me how much I love some of the weird shit the UK pumps out when it comes to comedy outside of the god awful sitcoms. Plus I really didn’t want to pick a cartoon and look like even more of a man child than I already do.

Bookend Awards Interlude: Best Comic

Or ‘Graphic novel’ if you want to be a pretentious piece of shit, but let’s not put on airs and graces here. Even though i use the terms interchangeably because I am myself a pretentious piece of shit.

Beserk – Kentaro Miura’s dark fantasy is of often put in the running for best manga ever, and I can see why. I’ve only read until the end of the golden age arc, which is the one everyone knows about because that’s usually as far as any anime adaption gets, and it is a damn fine read with some fantastic art. It’s been made famous for the gore and violence, which certainly is there, but Guts and Griffith are a fantastically well realised set of characters, along with the rest of the band of the Hawk.



Devlin Waugh – Some fucking insanity from the world of Judge Dredd. Devlin Waugh is a homosexual, foppish Vampire who works for the Vatican as a supernatural investigator. It feels like reading a Constantine book, but with everything turned up to 11 on the insanity charts.


Fables – In particular books 6-14 this year. To be honest, I think fables has kind of let it’s starting concept of the fables from legend living in the real world run away from it. What started as a framing device of the nameless Adversary pushing them to hide in the mundane world has now become the plot, which was the somewhat inevitable conclusion of having the story run so long, but I think it was to the detriment of the series. Regardless, they are very well put together, and for all my complaints I’m going to keep reading to see where it all goes, because even at it's worst, fables is pretty great.


Injustice: Gods among us – A tie in to the games of the same name made by DC. It’s pretty engaging, but very stupid, and very bloated. You could easily cut out two books and nothing would be different other than some minor characters being dead. The best part was plastic man rescuing his son from Superman’s underwater prison. It’s a case where they when so far to make Superman Evil and ruined any moral ambiguity on which side was in the right. It ends up being just laughable ANYONE is with Superman, so it’s pretty much an idiot plot since the end of the first year. But what can I say, for the most part it was entertaining.


Preacher – Trade paperback 1. I picked this up out of curiosity after I found out they were making a series of it, and now I can’t watch the series because they changed so much. Que sera sera. Nothing amazing from the first book, but a fun idea with engaging characters, and some pretty visceral scenes. I plan to pick up more to see where it goes at some point.


Providence – Books 1 and 2. Alan Moore gets a lot of leeway from me, even when his books aren’t good, they are certainly interesting. And Providence is good. Robert Black, a gay writer, decides to take a leave of absence from his job at a newspaper to get over a break up and chase a story he things could help give him material for his book, but as he starts digging shit gets weird, fast. There’s lots of Lovecraftian goodness in this yarn and I’m hoping to get the third volume soon to find out how on earth this all comes together, but just based on what I've read this comes recommended from this bookend. Special note of the format of having no on page thought bubbles, but the main characters journal at the end of each chapter. It can be quite interesting seeing how what he says and thinks can differ across the story and how he attempts to rationalise the madness he encounters after the fact.


Swamp Thing – Volume 6. The final part of Alan Moore’s run on the series. Gives swampy an ending he deserves after a trippy journey through space. Moore's run on the comic is famous for a reason.

The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers – A strip full of stoner humour first printed in the 70’s, and still pretty funny in my opinion. It’s always depressing when decades old satire from before I was born can feel just as relevant today.



Top 10 – Jee, I wonder if I have a thing for Alan Moore’s work... I wasn’t too fond of Top 10 when I started it, I thought it was just too by the numbers - a police procedural, but everyone has super powers, how lolrandom! But I guess that was all necessary set up, because by the end I was hooked on this weird and wonderful world where everyone is a superhero.



And the winner is...

                Providence




I love me some Alan Moore, and this demented trip across America hooked me from the start, and if it wasn’t so close to Christmas I would have already bought volume 3 for myself. It was a close one between this and Beserk, but I can't bring myself to give that much support to a manga that is never going to be finished by the author.