You made it this far, you mad bastards. I’ve ordered every
game I played this year like some kind of absolute psychopath. Feel free to
join me as we count down to my game of the year.
But first, let me award the GAME OF THE YEAR, EVERY YEAR award
to the following games, which I play all the time, and it would be unfair to
rank with the rest. Nobody wants to see me give Dark Souls game of the year for
an entire decade after all.
Dark Souls – The Legend never
dies! My favourite soulsbourne game changes all the time, but it’s always
between Demon’s Souls, Dark Souls and Bloodborne, sequels need not apply. And I
have spent far too much time running around Lordran the last few years.
Medieval Total War 2 – Again, a
vote for the mods more than the game, though the base game is pretty damn fun.
Europa Barborum my friends, it is my fetish.
Naploeon Total war – It’s in
warsape engine, the scope is much limited after empire, and the AI is as
retarded as ever, but dammit do I love kicking the tail of that uppity
Corsican. Much mechanically improved from Empire, and actually optimised to run
on computers that humans can actually own.
Rome Total War – It’s super old,
and there are historical inaccuracies that give me kittens. But it’s some good
arcade fun painting the map your colour and tearing armies apart with your
legions.
Spyro the dragon – I maintain the
best made in the series, though not my favourite. If you like 3D platformers but haven’t played this game I have to
question what is wrong with you.
Total War: Shogun 2 –The best
total war game in vanilla (without Mods) that Creative Assembly has ever made.
I have lots and lots of complaints, like with all total war games, but it’s a
bloody good time, and I’ve lost hundreds of hours into it both solo and online.
And now for the list proper!
- Windward – A cheap indie game I’m pretty sure I got as part
of a humble bundle. I played it for an evening, had fun, but never plan to
touch it again. Might be worth a look if you like the idea of an abstracted
version of empire era naval combat, but don’t expect it to be deep or anything.
- ICEY – A take on the Stanley Parable and the Beginner’s Guide
meets an okay action game by a Chinese studio. It plays with the 4th
wall stuff pretty well, but I never really clicked with the combat system, the
narrator is annoying (I mean, he’s supposed to be, but I was getting sick of
him) and it makes the cardinal sin of making me sit through an unskippable
scene before retrying a boss. I mean, it was fun, but I found it a bit of a
trial to finish in the end.
- Dust: An Elysium Tale – A side scrolling indie action game with lots of furries. Looks nice, and was a fun time, but there’s no part of it
I would score much higher than ‘Competent’ really, which makes it hard to put
too high up the list.
- Transformers: Devastation – A below average game from
Platinum is still usually a pretty good game. Unless it’s Ninja turtles. Fun
platinum action, but you can tell this was one just made to pay the bills.
- Endless Space – A fun 4X strategy, but not too deep in what
you can do once you scratch the surface. I blasted through like two solid days
of playing this, and conquering the galaxy back to front, but as soon as I
finished my last campaign I never wanted to play it again. Hopefully the
impending sequel will be better, but this one is good for a fun few evenings if you can
pick it up cheap.
- Puppeteer – An incredibly creative game let down with pretty
basic gameplay, more impressive to watch than actually play, which is never
a good thing, but a fun family platformer nonetheless.
- Dragon Ball Xenoverse – Make hot Saiyan girl. Punch aliens. Profit.
Oh Saiyan girls, why are you so kakar-HOT?
- Warhammer: Total War – It’s fun, and better than Rome 2, but
they are stripping out so much of the tactical depth while focusing on flashy
visuals. While I enjoyed playing it for like 2 days, I’m glad I never bought it,
because fuck supporting Creative Assembly after what they’ve done to Total War.
- Steamworld Heist – Fun little turn based strategy game with
manual shooting. Glad to see the Steamworld guys wanted to try something
different after Dig. Though as they’ve just released Dig 2, I’m not sure if
this game actually did well... which is a shame.
- Patrician 3 – I don’t know why I love carting goods around
the Baltic in this Hanseatic league simulator so much, but I really do. I feel
like this game is only going to entertain like 0.00001% of people though.
- Mordheim: City of the Damned – Welcome to RNG hell. This
recreation of games workshop’s skirmish game is lots of fun, but has lots of
problems. The whole warpstone gathering things can just make it anti fun, and
you’ll be forced to give up good tactical positions to make a beeline for the
best warpstone deposits in a truly stupid gamey turn, especially when you rout
the army from the battlefield but leave behind the warpstone THAT IS LYING RIGHT
THERE! AAARGH. I actually love this game. I just really wish it was better. Also,
Necromunda video game when?
- Lone Survivor – Jasper Byrne’s 2D silent hill. But really I’m
doing it a disservice by giving it such title, because it’s very much its own
thing, and quite a trip. Keep your mind and body healthy in this twisted world.
- Metal Gear Rising: Revengence – Platinum were on good form
in this crazy action romp as Metal Gear’s own Cyborg Ninja Raiden. I’m kind of
sad we never got the stealth game initially promised. But if the fail state is
a Platinum action game, we’re in a pretty good place.
- Killing Floor 2 – It’s a whole lot of fun shooting up Z’s
with friends or randommers. Strap yourself into killing floor two for an evening
and have yourself a blast.
- Inside – Takes the work they did on Limbo and improved on it
in nearly every way. But for some reason they still never quite managed to top
that spider chase from Limbo... Regardless, great puzzle platformer, and far more
consistent than Limbo as a package.
- N++ - Minimalist beauty and no mistake. Take your ninja,
dodge traps and get gold. It’s perfect in a way only a game this simple can ever hope to be.
- Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker – It was clearly meant to be played on a handheld console, but even hooked up to a TV this shines through as fantastic metal gear action. The story would be totally incomprehensible to anyone who hadn't played MGS3 though.
- Slime Rancher – That’s right, pen up those poor slime, you
monster. Wholesome, nature exploiting fun. Don’t tread in the Tar.
- Hyper Light Drifter – Cut your way through this Pixel
masterpiece and vomit neon blood. Very tight combat and fun exploration in this
beautiful game.
- Superhot – T H E M O S T I N N O V A T I V E S H O O T E R O
F 2 0 1 6.
- Overwatch – There’s a character for everyone in this skill shooter,
and it’s no surprise it’s still this big so long after release given the
support it gets from the Blizzard.
- Hegemony: Gold – Pick the city state of your choice and war over ancient Greece. Logistics has never been so much fun. Prepare to spend weeks just staring at the Peloponnese planning your next move, before immediately getting fucked by an Athenian naval invasion.
- Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past –The final Legend of
Zelda game (outside of handhelds) made in 2D is still held up as a
classic for a good reason, take Link across Hyrule, and time itself to rescue
the Princess Zelda and save the world.
And now for my top 10:
- OneShot – Great adventure game that breaks the forth wall and really makes you care about the little blighters in the game. Get Niko home for pancakes you monster. Anything else would be a spoiler, but I stand by my story of the year award. However, 4th wall breaking aside, the rest of the game is fairly standard, albeit good, adventure game fare.
- Rocket League – Despite my complete lack of ability, this is
a damn fun game to play with friends or randommers.
- Cuphead – The gameplay is strong, but not especially
remarkable, but the art style is unique and sublimely executed. Have fun
playing this cartoon that feels like a timewarp to the 50s.
- Killer7- Absolute madness that from anyone other than SUDA51
would be considered the worst game ever made, but somehow, despite all the
ingredients being wrong, it just works. A cult classic, for sure, but a classic
nevertheless. I didn't plan for this to end up as number 7, but goddam if that isn't serendipity?
- Red Dead Redemption – It’s just a shame I waited so long to
play this, because it is visibly old and creaking now, but it’s still a damn
fine game, and I can see why it took the world by storm when it was new. The best Cowboy game in town, and don't let the fact that it's the ONLY cowboy game in town make that seem like damning it with faint praise (unless you want to dust off your PS2 and find a copy of GUN, but aside from nostalgia this is clearly still better).
- Uncharted: A Thief's End – Hopefully Nathan Drakes swansong
(I hate sequels that overstay their welcome, and I’m thought they were pushing
it a little with this one), very well made all round. Naughty Dog knows what they’re
doing by now, and if you like Uncharted, I doubt this will disappoint. Has aspects of an idiot plot, and thinks it's far more emotional than it is, but overall the story is a lark and the gameplay tight. It has a lot of money behind it, and it shows.
- Banjo-Kazooie – Absolute classic from Rare, one of the
foundational entries into the 3D platformer genre, and despite its venerable
age, still one of the greats.
- Sunless Sea – Going mad at sea has never been more fun than
in this mix of RPG, naval combat, trading sim, resource management game and
choose your own adventure. May not be to everyone’s tastes, but I was sucked
into the world of the Unterzee for weeks trying to make my name as a Zee Captain.
- DOOM – I don’t know what to say, I have had more fun with
DOOM than I have had with an FPS game in years, and it’s frenetic, bloody, over
the top fun. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I can appreciate a cover
based shooter, but I'd gotten pretty sick of having ONLY cover based shooters
for most of the 2010’s
- Hollow Knight – You know, I made this list in an attempt to
try and find a game OTHER than Hollow Knight that I played this year that I
would put at the top of the list, because, you know, it ain’t perfect, I could
nitpick and complain about hollow Knight plenty. But as I went down the list I
just realised that, for me at least, it was the full package. Cuphead may have
better art, but Hollow Knight is still beautiful. OneShot may have had the most
affecting story, but I was still drawn in to Hollow Knight’s lore. Something
like N++ may have tighter mechanics, but hollow Knight still felt like a joy to
control (at least after I got the first few movement upgrades, dang
metroidvanias). Maybe there’s a little too much back tracking, and there are
some bosses I take umbrage with, but any niggles are far outweighed by the
classy package that is Hollow Knight. Do yourself a favour and join the insect
inhabitants of Hollownest as you try to piece together what left the world in
such a sorry state.
So there you have it, my games of 2017, ordered like some kind of serial killer. I feel like the list looks bad on some games, but I try to make an effort to only play good things, so don't think that just because it's low down on the list it isn't worth playing, I just played some pretty good shit this year.
And with that, I'll get back to editing the podcast, sorry I'm so slow. Please don't yell at me.
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